As vegans, we all have that one friend, or sometimes a group of friends, who find(s) it hilarious that we don’t eat meat or dairy. Dealing with this can be difficult because it’s tough to express to your friends how important animal rights are to you. You may fear that they’d ridicule you, calling you sentimental or idealistic, as much of society tends to say of vegans. So, since they don’t understand how you feel, your friends may come across harsher than they are meant to be.

To vegans, this can be a very sensitive topic because in most cases, we personally choose to live this way. In my case, I’ve put a lot of thought and analysis into this decision. It’s different than being made fun of for my nationality, ethnicity, or other things I was born into. When people make fun of my veganism, I felt like they are making fun of my choices which is very personal.

At times, communicating your feelings as a vegan can be difficult. Since we are so often labeled as ‘overly-sensitive’, we feel pressured into keeping things bottled in. And unfortunately, in many cases, the way we react to teasing does speak volumes not only about our own character but about the vegan movement in general. If you are one of the few vegans your friends know personally, to them you are the most accurate representation of the community.

However, it’s also important to put our own peace of mind first and know where to draw boundaries. If the jokes are extremely hurtful or offensive, keeping it all in can be detrimental to your mental health in the long run. That’s why it’s so important to learn how to communicate effectively and transparently while on this lifestyle. So, keep reading and discover ways in which you can deal with friends who make fun of you for being vegan!

Understanding Why The Jokes Affect Us So Much

Jokes can be designed to put those belonging to a minority group down. They are an attempt to ridicule members of these groups into feeling ashamed of who they are. Vegans currently fall into this category, as we make up only 2% of the human population.

These jokes invalidate the vegan message by minimizing our beliefs, making us feel uncomfortable, or flat-out embarrassing us in public.

Feelings Of Surprise

I’ve been extremely surprised not only by the jokes themselves but by who makes them. These people are highly-mannered, successful, educated people whom I admire—people I usually get along with and respect.

I have also been surprised that friends who are usually extremely supportive of me, in general, have avoided coming to my defense, and sometimes even laugh along with the jokes. Situations like this can be hurtful, and make you feel betrayed.

Here’s what you need to know: Jokes about vegans are VERY common, and you are NOT alone. As vegans, a lot of us have gone through this. Personally, I have not eaten meat since I was 3 years old, and I’m now in my 40s. I have sat through a lot of these jokes throughout my lifetime.

I admit that when I was younger, I tended to laugh along with the jokesters, as I was too scared that people would label me as ‘the sensitive vegan’, or think I had no sense of humor. I’d sometimes say nothing at all and keep it all inside. I felt ashamed, as though I was not normal, so I preferred not to bother anybody or make a fuss about it.

Over time, however, I realized that I was isolating myself. I simply did not understand why I was being mocked for doing something so amazing for the animals and the planet. It made no sense. So, I started distancing myself from these people. This was not necessarily a good thing—they were overall good people who enriched my life. I kept things inside instead of communicating my feelings. And this was certainly NOT a good thing.

In my experience, there is not one correct way to deal with this. It will really depend on your specific situation.

As I become older, I’m focusing more and more on my mental wellbeing and trying to be as compassionate in my relationships as possible. I’m not here to shame anybody, and I don’t want to start an argument that will cost me my peace of mind. This could put me in a negative emotional state, and may not even be worth it in the end.

So, I always start by giving the person the benefit of the doubt. You can choose to assume that the person who made the joke did not realize how offensive and hurtful it would be to you. I’d recommend asking them, “Can you explain what you meant by that?” Depending on how close you are with the person, you can do this either in private or in front of others.

Effective Communication Can Save Your Relationships

Before confronting your friend for their insensitive jokes, make sure you’re in the right headspace. Try to understand where they were coming from, and that they were likely not trying to hurt you. It’s possible they were trying to gain others’ approval, or have at some point had a negative experience with a person who was vegan, or with veganism in general. Maybe they were hurt by something you once unknowingly said about their beliefs. None of these are a good excuse for making offensive remarks, but are certainly common reasons. Understanding their feelings and intentions can make the conversation far less painful or uncomfortable.

Try to go into the exchange thinking of it as a discussion, rather than a debate. You are not trying to prove you are right; you are simply sharing the truth about your personal experience, and listening to theirs. This way, you can both avoid invalidating each other’s thoughts and feelings—after all, nobody’s experience is ‘wrong’.

Communicate with compassion, honesty, and courage. Listen to what they have to say, without judging them or jumping to conclusions. We can never truly understand another person’s experience, so we need to let them explain it to us fully before making assumptions. Also, think about the things you say and how you say them. When you put yourself in their place, you can avoid letting the discussion become charged with negative emotions.

Another thing to remember is that when you express yourself freely and honestly, you invite the other person to feel comfortable enough to do the same. Avoid beating around the bush in fear of saying the ‘wrong’ thing. Simply stay honest about your experience without invalidating theirs. This is an excellent way to create an open discussion and communicate effectively.

Assess the Situation

In most cases, communicating your experience is the most important thing. If you keep it bottled inside, it will consume you and cause bigger problems down the line. You could even blow up and take out your frustrations on others who have nothing to do with it, like your family or children.

Here’s an example of what you could say to someone who is putting down your vegan beliefs: “I really don’t appreciate you laughing at my expense. How would you feel if I made fun of your religion, political views, your kid’s education, or other things that are important to you? It’s not so funny, right? So, you do understand how I feel. Maybe next time, think twice before putting my values down.”

In other cases, saying nothing is not such a bad thing. Always measure the situation and determine for yourself whether it would be worth confronting the person who made the joke.

Here’s a real-life example. I had a client who said the following statements to me, or in my presence:

• I honestly think that vegans are stupid because you need to eat meat to be smart.

• I think your kid will not be too bright because he does not eat meat.

• Countries in which people eat the most meat will get through the pandemic better because meat eaters are more resistant to the disease.

• I see more and more vegan products appearing everywhere! What are these crazy people thinking?

• Honestly, animals are meant to be eaten. Climate change will resolve itself. The ‘jokes’ continued on and on.

We all know the above statements are untrue. So, is it worth pursuing? No. When you are faced with someone like this who is not at all open or receptive to your point of view, I’ve found that it’s best to say nothing.

Had you pursued it, it would have quickly turned into a debate, then an argument that would take a heavy toll on your emotional state. Frankly, we all have better, more positive things to do with our lives, like reaching people who really are receptive to our message.

We hope this has helped you understand how to navigate your feelings when being teased about your vegan lifestyle. And as always, we thank you for doing so much to save the animals and our planet. If you need any additional advice to help simplify your vegan lifestyle, drop a comment below and we’ll make sure to help you out! You have our full support!

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